A List.

1. Your best friend stands you up over a txt msg you never recieve. Go get coffee.
2. Said coffee does not contain sugar. You hate sugarless coffee. Man who GIVES coffee is smug as fuck and gives you a Look.
3. Begin to cry. Sit in the sunshine and continue, hyterically, for the next hour and a half.
4. Find out that you have unintentionally stood someone up. Yesterday, when you were phone-less for the sake of Saving The World.
5. Walk 500 metres, down Burke Road Camberwell, blissfully unaware of the fact that your mascara - of which you are wearing BUCKETLOADS - was, in fact, not waterproof.
6. Go into borders. Spend $30 you don't have on book you don't need.
7. Though YOU may be unaware of the fact that your face is covered in mascara coloured, tear shaped rivets, the man selling you the book is not. He gives you an awkward look and says something about it being a good book.
8. Go into work. Boss avoids eye contact. You wonder briefly why.
9. In the tea room, two women are on break. When you walk in, they stop talking. You say hi. They stare.
10. Enter bathroom and see yourself, black mascara tears and all.
12. Go to work. It's the happiest 4 hours of your entire day.
13. Wait at train station for friend to turn up to get coffee. Never happens. Msg her. Nothing happens. Get on another train.
14. Tell original friend that you're coming over. You assume this will be ok, as she stood you up because she was sick at home. However, she replies that she's out.
15. Friend calls you. You're unnecessarily rude. You ask her please not to call you.
16. Get off the train. You have a message from a friend asking you out to coffee if you're in the area. You call him. He's out for lunch and will meet you in an hour.
17. He does not meet you later. You go to Degraves and he's not there. You spend more money you don't have and go home.
18. Sitting on the train.
Child: what's that?
Mother: those are badges. Ask the lady what they are. Say 'what's that on your bag?'
Child: no..
Mother: Go on, ask the lady
Child: That's a man mummy! Mummy, that's a man. No, it's a man. It's a man!
19. Mother spends the rest of the train trip discussing with her child what's 'wrong' with women with short hair. Child exclaims loudly that men should not wear lipstick. Mother tells him she'll explain when he is older.